Progress...

...and by progress, I mean that I hated today a little less than day 1 of C25K.  While day was 1 was a beautiful 60 degrees and I was able to run outside, today-two days later, it is a blustery 15 and there was no way I was running outside.  I may be a Minnesota girl, but I'm not THAT crazy!  So what did I do? I swallowed my pride and went to the gym.  The gym that I've been a member of for a year and haven't been to in AT LEAST 6 months.  I was super nervous about jiggle jogging my happy but through today's workout on a treadmill in front of other people--but I did it!  I powered through.  And you know what?  I didn't hate it nearly as much as the other day--and I actually kept up with the walk/run intervals the entire time!  I bought new pants today that helped with the whole "pants on the ground" issue I first had, but all the jiggling ends up with a lot of wardrobe adjustments regardless.  But hey, I have to celebrate the small stuff right?

A not-so flattering picture..but I wanted a  starting point picture :D

I Ran... or at least I tried.

Today was an absolutely GORGEOUS day here in Indiana -it was in the 60's!  Because I had the evening off and it was so nice out, I decided that TODAY WAS THE DAY.  I came home, put on my new workout clothes, found headphones and my new iPhone armband, and headed to the Greenway.  I'm not going to lie, I was super intimidated.  I haven't run since High School gym class, and I knew it wasn't going to be pretty--but I am determined to prove to myself that I can be disciplined.  I'm doing C25K and found a great app that lets me listen to my own music while breaking in to tell me when the walk or run intervals start.  What I really liked was that it told me when I was halfway done-so I knew when to turn around.  

Music ready to go, i.d. and car keys in my pocket. I started.  The program starts off with a 5 minute warm up walk which was nice to get me loose.  Then, I ran.  The first couple of seconds wasn't bad and I was thinking, "Yeah, I can do this, I got this"  And then I realized that my jiggling around while jogging was causing my pants to fall down (I have ZERO butt, and my pants fall down on a pretty regular basis).  So I end up looking like a "thug", running while holding my pants up.   Needless to say, it wasn't pretty--but I kept at it!  

About halfway through the workout, a guy runner comes up behind me and as he is passing me, holds out my driver's license---OOPS!! Apparently all the jiggling caused that to come out too-but thankfully I still had my  car keys.  Thank you kind stranger for helping me out!! I powered through, walked more than I was supposed to, but I finished.  Day 1, complete.  

Some of my main thoughts during my "run" were:

1. Seriously, people do this for fun?
2. I need different pants, this is NOT working....
3. Where's that "high" people talk about?
4. Seriously, why did I set this as one of my goals? 
5. Is it over YET??

On another note, I am having trouble coming up with more things to add to my 25 by 25 list--I've only got 10!  Apparently I need to spend some more focused time thinking about it.  Maybe that's what I'll try to focus on during my next "run".  :)

25 by Twenty-Five

When I was younger, I remember older people telling me how much time seemed to go by so much quicker as they got older.  I remember thinking "Seriously? Time seems to be dragging, I can't wait to be a grown up!"  Well, I am realizing how right they were!  Next month I will be turning the big 2-4.  When thinking about my 24th birthday, I have experienced some anxiety and some "how can I be that old already, I don't feel like a grown-up!"  (Insert those of you who are older than me laughing hysterically)  I have never been big on birthdays, frankly I have always just wanted low-key birthdays--nothing spectacular.  I am not a particularly anxious person, so it bothered me that I was feeling anxious about turning 24.  

Now you're thinking, what does this have to do with 25?  Well, I have come to realize that the reason I was freaking out about turning 24, is that the next birthday is 25!  Again, people may scoff at that, but I guess I thought I would have done more with my life by the time I turned 25.  I have decided to turn anxiety into ACTION.  I'm compiling a list of things I want to do before I turn 25.  So far, I'm up to 10 things on my list, and I'm taking suggestions of things to add.  Each thing on the list has a specific meaning behind it and I hope to go more in-depth on each one over the next year.  Basically, I want my 25th birthday to be the healthiest, most accomplished, and awesome birthday I've ever had.

  

THE LIST

1. Run a half-marathon.
2. Take 5 weekend getaways.
3. Zip line.
4. Watch the sunrise over the St. Louis Arch.
5. Go an entire year without drinking pop.
6. Take a picture worth printing on canvas and get it printed.
7. Find the perfect Little Black Dress and buy it!
8. Take a community art class.
9. Read an entire book in one day.
10. Make a baby quilt.

Oh JOY...

I am looking through my blog posts and laughing at myself.  It seems that at the end of each year, I take time to reflect on the past year, make plans to do better at blogging in the next year, and then make all of one or two posts throughout the year.  So here I am again, thinking that I need to be more proactive with my blog, and making plans for how I could be better at keeping up with it...blah blah blah.  This got me to thinking, "Why did I start this blog?  What purpose do I want it to serve?"  My blog has been named Susanna's Joy, from the get-go...and I'm thinking I want to get back to that.  I think that when I originally chose that name, I had no idea what a big deal JOY was in my life.  While it is my middle name, it also something that I have to fight for, protect, and sometimes even search for in my life.

If you were to ask people around me, they would more than likely tell you that I am a bubbly and joyful person--and for the most part, that is true.  If Satan wants to bring me down and discourage me, my joy is the first place he tries to attack.  He tries to rob me of my joy by having me compare myself to others, remind me of the desires of my heart that aren't yet fulfilled, and help me have a good 'ole fashion pity party.  I want to put a stop to this.  I want to stand up to the enemy and protect my joy-because my joy comes from the Lord, and He has been so good to me.

My little reminder--a bracelet I wear, especially to work, to remind me 

that joy has nothing to do with circumstances.

All that to say--I'm stripping this blog back to it's bare roots.  I declare this spot in the blogosphere as my place to proclaim my joy in the Lord--my space to stop and smell the roses, sit in awe and wonder, and to  breathe in His goodness.

2011: A Year in Review

I read a lot of blogs.  I am always so enthralled by the way that others can put things into words so beautifully.  I envy them.  I read blogs and think, "Hmm..I should really try to write like them. I'm inspired to write now..."  Inevitably, I come over to my blog, look at the layout, the background, or the font, and decide to change that first, and then I'll get around to putting together a post.  Well, one thing leads to another, I spend an hour trying to find the right picture, right font, right color scheme, and by the time I have it just the way I want it, I am no longer inspired or I am too tired to make sense of anything.

Today, I was reading blogs that were reflecting back on 2011, experiences lived, lessons learned, and people loved.  Once again, I was inspired to write, saw my layout, and had to change that first.  I promised myself though, that I had to keep with it and actually finish a post.  I began to look back on all the pictures I have taken throughout 2011.  Looking through the past year, I was amazed by the number of people that were in pictures with me.  The number of people that I have shared life with this year, whether for a night, a week, or on a regular basis, made me step back and just be thankful.  Thankful that the Lord has blessed me with wonderful family, pseudo-family(ya know, the friends that might as well be family), friends, coworkers, friends' children, just so many beautiful people.

These pictures or only small snapshots of 2011, glimpses into moments that I will cherish for years to come. While every picture has a story to tell, that's not what this is about.  This is about the things that happened during 2011, the things I learned, and how I have been changed by the events and people in my life during the past year.  There may be no rhyme or reason to the order, and frankly you may only care for the pictures, but here are a few of the "nuggets" of 2011

1. I graduated from college and became a grown up.  A few bumps along the way, the journey of graduation, NCLEX, and the job search, was a testament to the goodness of the Lord.  I had no idea where I was going after graduation, but God did.  I was going nowhere, that is, I was staying in Marion, working on the unit I've been working on for the last two years.

2. Relationships grew, changed, and deepened.  One of my best friends became even closer.  I opened up, allowed her to see into my heart and into the mess that can be my emotions.  She loved me when I felt unlovable and refused to judge me when I was judging myself.

3. I watched a lot of movies.  Some funny, some sad, and a lot of corny ones. 

4. I practiced the art of "being".  I tried to be truly present with friends and family and to soak up every precious moment with the people I love.

5. I learned to shoot a bow and arrow--and loved it! So much so, I bought one, and fully intend on hunting next year with it.

6. I said A LOT of goodbyes.  Graduation was so bitter-sweet.  While we will try our best to keep in touch through email and Facebook, and may see each other at home comings and weddings, there are many friends that I will probably never see again on this side of heaven.  When I first realized that, I was tempted to have a pity party for myself, but I have chosen to be thankful instead.  Thankful that I have had the time to share life with them, even if it was only for a short time.

7.  Kinjie came into my life.  I am 100% a dog person, but this little kitten weaseled her way into my home, and I've genuinely come to love her.  She is funny, playful, and doesn't mind that I work long, odd hours.  In fact, I am pretty sure that she has become a 3rd shifter as well.

8.  I started redoing my kitchen.  I have amazing landlords who pretty much let me do what I want with the apartment.   Unfortunately, I still haven't finished the cabinets, but that is on the to finish list for 2012.

9.  I admitted to myself, and to others, that I really desire to be married and have a family.  While I was in school, I suppressed that desire in order to focus on school, but now that I am done with school and started my career, it has been on my mind a lot lately.  Continuing to wait on the Lord's timing, but for those of you who know me well, admitting that was a big deal.

10. I attended a lot of weddings.  Graduating from a small, Christian university, the summer after graduation is the summer of lots of weddings!  I was honored to be a part of my dear friend Erin's big day and stand up with her as she pledged her life to Paul.  It was so wonderful to see their relationship grow throughout the last few years and to witness them coming together in marriage.

11.  I took lots of pictures.  I love photography and enjoyed snapping lots of pictures! Going through the year in pictures, I realized that I haven't taken as many pictures in the last few months, and that is something that I want to be better at in the coming year.  I want to better my skills and capture more beautiful moments.

12.  Laughter was abundant and joy was contagious.  There were so many times of pure joy and love shared among friends.  I am blessed.

13.  Reminders of how fragile life is were abundant.  Many friends, friends of friends, and members of my church, faced serious health concerns, tragedy, and loss.  

14.  I started paying off school debt.  While it is not what I would call "fun", it sure is nice to see the numbers going down, rather than up!

15.  I became addicted to Pinterest.  When you are awake in the middle of the night because of 3rdshiftitis, it is easy to get sucked in!

16.  On that note, I found out that I'm going to be an Aunt again! Yay! Baby #4 is due this summer and I can't wait to meet him or her!

17.  My car died and I had to buy a new one, without my Dad here to help.  It was definitely one of those times where I thought, "It sure would be nice to have a husband so that I didn't have to make this decision by myself"  I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and was blessed by the men in my life here in Marion that really stepped up to help.  So far, so good!

18.  I gave a lot of hugs and kisses, especially to my nephews and niece.  It is hard to be away from them, especially now that I don't have school breaks.  I cherish the time I do get to spend with them and love waking up to "Auntie Juicey, Auntie Juicey!!", followed by cannon balls to the stomach and lots of kisses.

19.  I started sewing.  I have made a couple of projects and have plans to make a few more.  Again, it is something that I can do in the middle of the night when the rest of the real world is sleeping. 

20.  I tried to invest in others.  For those of you have come to my apartment, you know that it is rarely organized and spotless.  It is normal for their to be a heap of dishes to be washed and load of laundry to be folded.  Sometimes I get frustrated that I am not a more organized person, but then I try to remember why I allow those things to pile up.  I would much rather be spending quality time with people than obsessing over a spotless home.  While I try to keep it clean, if someone calls and wants to grab coffee or dinner, I will gladly leave the laundry for another day in order to spend time with them.

2011 has been quite the year.  

There's been lots of major life changes.

There's been tears.

There's been laughter.

But most of all, there's been JOY....

JOY in living, loving, and learning....

JOY in counting my blessings.